May 19

HOLLYWOOD MARRIAGES: FACT OR FICTION?

Are Hollywood marriages fact or fiction?

Both.

Fairytale endings are true in that God put the desire for the "happily ever after" within us. After all, doesn't the Bible say happy are those people whose God is the LORD? Doesn't it teach that those who take pleasure in the LORD will have their heart's desires? The desire for the ride into the sunset with your beloved is divine.

But the path to the "happily ever after" that Hollywood portrays is quite fictitious.

Achieving the fairy tale ending does not happen by falling in love, as Hollywood suggests, but by staying committed.

Almost every chick flick is about two people getting together and never about them being together. How many love stories are about couples already married? Very few. And if they are, the marriage nearly falls apart (if it's a good story).

The bulk of nearly every love tale is about two characters who meet at a ball, find romance, encounter a dark plot, then their love wins through and they live happily ever after together.

But the movie never shows what happens after they ride into the sunset.

It shows the fiery romance, but omits the daily routine of commitment.

In short, it's easy to love a girl when you're on a sinking ship, but it's a bit harder to love her day in and day out for the next 50 years of your life.

I might argue it's easier to die for someone than to live for them.

That's why A Walk to Remember, Letters to Juliet, and Pride and Prejudice do not tell the story of the couples after their wedding day.

Nevertheless, fairy tale endings and Hollywood "happily ever afters" are not poisonous (as some assume). We were meant to hope. And the hopes of the godly will not be disappointed (Proverbs 10:28). But the path to the happy ending is far different than how Hollywood portrays it.

Therefore, next time you are watching a chick flick, and you get discouraged because your marriage isn't like the one on the screen, remember you are watching two characters getting together and falling in love, but you are not seeing them being together and staying committed.

What happens after their wedding ceremony?

Perhaps a little more of the pride and a little more of the prejudice rear their ugly heads when the credits are rolling on the screen.

If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.
- Orson Welles

May 18

THE MOST DANGEROUS BODY PART YOU POSSESS

Colossians 3:18-19 teaches, "You wives must submit to your husbands as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. And you husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly."

Having marriage problems? Consider these two verses which feed off each other - the more a husband loves his wife to death, fighting off dragons for his damsel in distress, the more she will want to submit to his leadership and follow him off into the sunset.

The more a woman makes her husband feel like a knight in shining armor, the more he will become that, for we become what others believe us to be, and he will want to make you feel like the princess you dressed up to be as a little girl.

The problem is, when a husband and wife sit in Church and hear a message on this passage, they tend to tune out during their own verse, but are all ears when their spouse is being addressed. A man is focused like a laser when his wife is told to submit, but when he is told to love, he dozes off. We love to hear what we're owed, but never what we owe.

Here's a little tip for a better marriage - remember the most dangerous body part you possess is your elbow. When your wife is told to submit to you, the worst thing you could do is nudge her with your elbow and whisper, "Did you hear that honey? Remember our argument in the car on the way out to Church? Here's our answer - you must submit to your husband!"

Elbows are the sharpest razors you own when listening to a message like this one - it will cut this teaching to pieces! And it'll make your spouse hate you.

Never quote the opposite verse at your partner, only quote your own command at yourself.

Every marriage problem would be solved if each partner never demanded their rights, but only demanded of themselves their responsibilities.

Could you imagine a marriage relationship where neither spouse ever considered their privileges, but only their duties?

It would be paradise on earth.

The secret to a lovely marriage? Never think about your rights - always think about your responsibilities.

Put away those elbows before someone gets hurt.

Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else.
- Ivern Ball

May 17

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?

Ephesians 5:28 urges husbands to care for their wives the same way they care for their own bodies.

"I would care for my wife," you say, "but she is imperfect!" So is your body, and you take care of it. In fact, the more imperfect your body is, the more you attend to it. Should it not be the same with your wife?

After all, you are one flesh, therefore to inflict wounds on her is to make yourself bleed. To hurt her is to wound you.

Therefore, treat your wife gently, for she is the "weaker vessel" (1 Peter 3:7) and must be looked after with tender care.

Did that last sentence sound rather chauvinistic? Is Peter bashing women by labeling her as the weaker vessel? Absolutely not.

My Dad offers the best explanation of the "weaker vessel" passage I've ever heard. He teaches men are like root beer mugs and women like wine goblets. A root beer mug can be slammed on the table, clashed against other mugs for a cheers, and banged around. It's a hardy glass. Just like a man.

A wine goblet, however, is delicate and exquisitely crafted. You must treat it with gentle care. It's not clunky like the root beer mug. It can't be whacked against other cups. For it is a beautiful and graceful drinking vessel. It must be treated with special reverence. Just like a woman.

Is the wine goblet "weaker" than the root beer mug? Yes. But it's also more elegant, fine, and lovely.

Husbands, if you dare to break your wine goblet, do not be surprised when your own heart gets broken. For 1 Peter 3:7 goes on to teach that if you do not treat your wife as you ought, your prayers will not be heard!

This is why I want to love my wife no matter how bad my mood is. If I don't, I can't pray, and if I can't pray, I'm doomed.

Treating one's wife harshly is like being on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? and being asked what the capitol of Iceland is, and having no lifelines left. You've already phoned a friend. You've already asked the audience. You're finished.

Prayer is your lifeline, and if that's cut off, what hope do you think you have?

Love your wife, therefore, to death. Treat your wine goblet gently. Because if you don't, you can bet your bottom dollar you ain't gonna be a millionaire today!

Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love.
- William Penn

May 16

TWINKIES, CURLERS, AND GILMORE GIRLS

Too many Christian husbands are cavemen.

They think that because the Bible says wives are to submit to them and they are the head of the wife, they can abuse their authority and turn headship into dictatorship.

If you're a man, and you dare to use your leadership position to treat your wife harshly, you are the ultimate coward. If you dare to raise your voice at a woman, you could not be a more lily-livered human. If you wish to grapple with someone, pick on a man your own size. What kind of mouse fights a woman?

And before you begin to quote "submission" verses at your wife, remember that Ephesians 5:21 teaches you are to submit to one another. Mutual submission is called for in every Christian marriage. After all, is not the wife called to submit and to love? What makes you think that you are not called to love and submit?

Reciprocal submission is required. This means the wife displays her submission by respecting her husband's leadership, and the husband displays his submission by laying aside his wishes to treasure his wife. According to the New Testament, you are equal partners in your marriage relationship.

In fact, in Ephesians 5, Paul uses twice as many words instructing husbands to love their wives as he does commanding wives to submit to their husbands. What's more, the husband is called upon to display a more extravagant act of devotion than his wife is. He is called to love her as Christ loved and died for His bride, the Church. Sure, she may have to submit - but you have to take the bullet for her.

Are you loving her to death?

Just as you need your strength to be recognized (you crave respect) she needs her beauty recognized (she craves love):

Think about it. When you were a child, you dressed up as a ninja turtle and waved a plastic sword around the house. Ever since you were a boy, you wanted your strength to be acknowledged. She, however, probably didn't pretend to be Rafael. She dressed up as a princess (hopefully you didn't pretend to be Cinderella). Ever since she was a toddler she wished for her beauty to be recognized.

Are you treating her as the princess she dressed up to be?

"But she's not a princess!" you say.

Perhaps. But didn't Christ treat His bride like royalty when she was anything but a princess? Didn't He fight the dragon and perish for us when we were at our worst state? While we were yet sinners and God's enemies He demonstrated God's love by dying for us.

Jesus did not lay down His life for His bride when we were dressed in a stunning red dress, with lipstick on our lips, make-up on our faces, high-heels on our feet and locks cascading down our backs. It wasn't when we were displaying submission that He sacrificed Himself on our behalf.

No, Jesus died for us when we had curlers in our hair, face-cream on our skin, a pink bath-robe around our bodies, bunny slippers on our feet, Twinkies hanging our of our mouths, and Gilmore Girls on the screen. That's when He knocked on our door, swept us away, and died for us.

If the Knight in Shining Armor swept us off our feet in our worst state, we are called to do the same for our wives.

Love her, not only when she's serving you gourmet meals, making witty jokes, and doing your laundry.

Take the bullet for her when she's got curlers in her hair, is shouting at you, and refuses to wash your clothes.

After all, that's when Jesus loved you.

The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.
- William Somerset Maugham

May 15

HAVE YOU SEEN MY BEACH-BALL?

Why must wives submit to their husbands?

After all, Paul clearly teaches, "You wives must submit to your husbands as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord."

Not a very easy command to swallow, is it?

I am well aware this is a very unwelcome teaching in our culture, but that does not mean we should jettison it altogether. If marriage is to succeed, the wife must follow her husband's leadership, no matter how unpopular this concept may be.

"Why must I submit to my man?" you ask. Simply because Paul teaches the husband is the head of the wife as Jesus is the head of the Church.

"Well, why has there to be a head at all?" you object.

There must be a head because you cannot have a democracy in a community of two. There cannot be a majority vote cast in a marriage (unless your marriage involves three partners, and that would be strange). Because there are only two humans in a matrimonial relationship, if both spouses fail to reach an agreement after talking and praying, either they will have to separate because they cannot see eye to eye, or one of them must have the final word. In Christian marriage, the husband is given the responsibility of casting the deciding vote as a last alternative. For, in the words of C.S. Lewis, there can be no permanent association without a constitution.

"But if there must be a head," you say, "why must it be the man? He's an idiot."

Well, I wouldn't disagree with you there. But I believe the man has been given the responsibility of headship because he was created in such a way to have his strength acknowledged. Think about it, when a man is trying to win his girl, he flexes his muscles: "Have you seen my beach-ball," he asks. "It's about yay-big?" As he says this he flexes his arms to show the size of his "lost" ball.

"I think the beach is that way," he declares, as he bends his arm, pointing in the direction of the ocean as his bicep bulges.

He brings his guns to the gun-show.

Why are men given such caricatures? Because man was created with a desire to have the woman recognize his strength.

If a woman was flexing to win her husband, that'd be a little strange. Usually girls don't flex massive biceps to attract a guy, because they instinctively know that would scare them off.

The husband was built with a desire to have his power admired.

Now, simply because some have abused and distorted this teaching to give absolute authority to the husband does not mean we should dispose of this command. True submission is a gentle and mild act, not a slavish command of servitude.

If you are a man reading this, before you get all caveman and quote this verse at your wife, remember that Ephesians 5:21 says you must submit to one another. Remember also that 1 Peter 3:7 teaches husbands and wives are equal partners in the Lord. Besides, this journal is not intended for men, and you are to never tell your wife, "Submit to me woman!" You think about your responsibilities, men, not about your rights.

Yet if you are indeed a woman reading this, you may say, "I would follow my husband, but he's a blockhead." Notice, Paul didn't say submit to him if he's not a blockhead. He said submit to him as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord, period.

Acknowledge his strength. Follow his leadership. Show him you believe in him, and follow him to the ends of the earth.

It's what your husband needs.

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.
- Martin Luther

May 14

WOH-MAN!

God is into marriage.

Did you know that the Bible opens and closes with a wedding? And, of course, the first miracle God's Son performed was at a wedding.

In fact, when God created the world, the only thing missing was a companion for man. The LORD looked at His creation, at the tropical waterfalls and bears and Mt. Everest and mars, and said, "It is good." But there was one thing in His creation of which He said, "It is not good…" In Genesis 2:18, He looked at Adam and declared, "It is not good for man to dwell alone."

Consequently, He put Adam to sleep, took a rib from his side, and from it fashioned the woman.

(By the way, if you are single and looking for your spouse, remember that God didn't give Adam his wife when he was on the prowl. If Adam tried to pursue a mate, he would've ended up marrying a chimpanzee! God hooked him up when he was sleeping.)

When Adam finally woke up, he needed a name for the woman, so of course, he called her, "Woh-man!" And that's how she got her name. Bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, she was perfect! (Parenthetically, if you are wondering why the woman is better looking than the man, it's because when God created the man He was only practicing, but by the time He created the woman He had experience, and that's why she's the prettier of the two. Just a joke. A bad one, I know).

Needless to say, God never meant for man to be alone. He is all about marriage. In Ecclesiastes 9:9, when Solomon embarks on his existential quest to discover the meaning of life, he tells the man to live happily with the wife of his youth, for she is the "reward" of all his labor. Notice, he did not say she is the source of all his labor, but the reward. Proverbs echoes this sentiment by declaring that the man who finds a wife finds a good thing (husbands, you better make your wife feel like she's a good thing, amen?)

Yet, even though you may know God is into marriage, you are not.

You read the book of Song of Solomon, and romance seems to you nothing more than a castle in the air from an age long past. You gave up hopes for such an idyllic relationship long ago. Oh, you've read the book of Ecclesiastes where Solomon declared that two are better than one, and that you accomplish more than twice as much with a companion by your side, but instead of getting double for your trouble, your trouble has doubled!

For you, marriage is not about thriving, but merely surviving. The ring around your finger is nothing more than the smallest handcuff in the world.

Indeed, marriage can either be the closest thing to hell on earth, or the closest thing to Heaven on earth, depending on what you base it upon.

If your marriage is based on "being in love," it will fail. No matter what people say, being in love is a feeling that is almost always temporary. It is a wonderful feeling, to be sure, but a feeling nonetheless, and no relationship can thrive on a feeling.

Marriage will never thrive when its foundation is a feeling, only when its foundation is commitment.

For better or for worse, commit to your spouse. In riches or in rags. Only then will you experience the thriving power God created you to enjoy with your spouse.

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
- Author Unknown

May 13

TWENTY-THREE HUSBANDS

Colossians 3:18-19 says, "You wives must submit to your husbands as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. And you husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly."

I believe every problem in marriage we face can trace its genesis back to the root of neglect towards one or both of these verses.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," you say. "I've heard 'love and respect' a million times. Give me something new!"

Actually, when Paul penned this passage, he was communicating a state-of-the-art idea. He propagated a totally new concept. When his words are set against their historical backdrop, we will be able to view them with fresh lenses, and hopefully obey them with newfound vigor.

As one brilliant New Testament scholar points out, in Paul's day, the marriage situation was in chaos. Let's consider the history behind Paul's words.

The Jews had a terribly low view of women. There was actually a prayer a Jewish man would pray wherein he would thank God he was not a Gentile, a slave, or a woman. The woman was the possession of her man - more a thing than a person. One line of Rabbinic thought taught a man that if his woman put too much salt in his food or did not please him (i.e. if he found a woman more attractive than her) he could divorce her. It's no wonder some Jewish girls were refusing to marry, because their position as wife was so unpredictable.

The Greek marriages were even worse. Prostitution was a necessary part of life in Greece. The woman was compelled to be chaste and responsible, but the husband was given all the benefits - he could enjoy as many relationships outside his wife as he liked, and this was socially acceptable!

Still worse was the Roman culture. The famous Seneca points out that people were married to be divorced and divorced to be married. There were women who actually numbered the years by the names of their husbands! One Roman woman was married to her 23rd husband and she was the man's 21st wife! Marriage was falling apart.

With this background in mind, when people were changing partners like drivers change their oil, we cannot fathom how refreshing Paul's words must have been to women and to family life.

If we, in American culture, neglect these two simple verses, we will fall into the hedonism and disloyalty that these ancient civilizations succumbed to. It begins with us. It begins with Christians. Let us, therefore, inspire our society to follow the Biblical way of marriage. Let us return to the ancient way of Scripture. Let us submit to and love each other, prove the Christian way works, and save America before our culture falls into marital ruin.

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.
- Simone Signoret

May 12

GOOGLING YOUR NAME

The embarrassing practice of googling our names is a temptation most all of us have succumbed to.

We've all felt the lure to check our Internet popularity.

We click on the Twitter account to see if we're being talked about. We check our FaceBook page to gauge our popularity based on our friend requests. We visit our YouTube video to see how many hits we've got.

Like David, we number the people and invite disaster. Technology is the Joab we dispatch to count our subjects. Therefore, I'm using technology (the very thing you use to check your popularity) to warn you not to google yourself, just as Joab (the very person David used to check his popularity) warned him not to number the people.

Googling our names cannot be an option for us. After all, even if all men do praise us on the Internet, woe to us (Luke 6:26), for they praised the false prophets as well. They were the ones with 10,000 Facebook friends.

Checking you're internet popularity will only make you a narcissist one moment, a hater of yourself the next moment, and self-absorbed at all moments.

Besides, do you really want to be that guy? The guy who googles himself?

Cure yourself of the affliction of caring how you appear to others. Concern yourself only with how you appear before God, concern yourself only with the idea that God may have of you.
- Miguel De Unamuno

May 11

SONRISE

Psalm 43:5 says, "Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God."

Abraham hoped in God as a senior citizen married to a ninety-year-old (sterile) woman, and God gave him a child when he was a century old.

Jacob hoped in God, challenged an angel to a wrestling match, and emerged from the tournament a prince of God.

Joseph hoped in God, but his brothers sold him to Ishmaelite traders, yet years later he rose to Prime Minister and his siblings bowed in obeisance to their disguised baby brother.

Moses hoped in God, split the Red Sea with nothing but a wooden staff in his hand and faith in his heart, walked across, then drowned the entire Egyptian army with the very sea that saved his life.

Joshua hoped in God and slew the fortified city of Jericho with nothing but an ark, a few horns, and some men who walked a lot.

David hoped in God, trash-talked the monster from Gath (he told Goliath that, in the name of the LORD, he'd cut off his head and feed his carcass to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field) and the giant came tumbling down.

Shammah hoped in God, stood his ground when the Israelite troops fled for their lives, and defeated the Philistine army in the field of beans…all by himself.

Elisha hoped in God, laid down on a dead boy, the child sneezed 7 times, and came back to life.

Jonah hoped in God with seaweed wrapped around his head, cried out to the LORD from the belly of a fish, and the sea creature threw him up on the beach.

Hezekiah hoped in God when the fearsome Assyrian forces waged war upon him, but he needn't lift a finger, for God dispatched an angel in the night to slay 185,000 of them.

Jeremiah hoped in God, and despite his message burning in his bones like liquid flames, few heeded his words during his lifetime…yet after death his legacy is so profound that Jesus Himself was mistaken for this prophet of old.

Daniel hoped in God, was cast into the lair of the lions, but evidently the kings of the jungle were dieting, because they refused to taste his delicious flesh.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego hoped in God, were thrust into a furnace, and came out of the flames without so much as a sun burn.

Peter hoped in God when his life was threatened by a water storm - he did not long for a life-jacket but desired danger, stepped out of the boat, and the lake turned into a liquid sidewalk beneath his feet.

Thomas hoped in God, rather imperfectly, and still he was given access to the Messiah's healing wounds.

Paul hoped in God, found himself in an explosive sea-storm, prophesied a shipwreck and the survival of every hair on the heads of the 276 on board, and sure enough, the boat sunk, yet every passenger, whether on boards or paddling to shore, made it safely to land.

Jesus Christ hoped in God, was swallowed by the belly of the earth for three days like Jonah, but it spit Him out, because death could not handle the Slayer of the Grave.

Hope in God, no matter how black the night might be, no matter how deep the valley may sink, no matter how formidable the grave may seem, for you are not going into the valley of the shadow of death…you're walking through it.

When the stars are swallowed in darkness and the sun refuses to pierce the shadows, hope in God, for dawn will come. If the Son of God has risen, you can bet your bottom dollar that the sun of God shall rise again as well.

Therefore, never lose hope, through trials of fire and storms of water, through days of despair and dark nights of the soul, for there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

If death itself could not stop the Sonrise, then what makes you think any tribulation in life shall stop the sun from rising?

Hope in God, for dawn shall come.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.
- Anne Lamott

May 10

SUNDAY, BLOODY SUNDAY

Some of the most insecure people I know are Bible teachers.

One would assume a preacher who mounts a stage to speak to crowds would have all the confidence in the world. In reality, preachers tend to be sensitive and easily wounded souls.

I know this because I've been a Bible teacher and met many other ones over the years. Almost all preachers share a common insecurity. If you put them all into a room together, often they will boast about their own ministry successes, seeking affirmation.

Yesterday, I marveled aloud to a friend of mine about the internal lack of confidence most teachers have, and he suggested this insecurity is a "thorn in the flesh" (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) graciously given to them. If they were free of affliction, they'd be puffed up because they'd be used to crowds of people listening to them talk.

The thorn is sharpest on Sunday afternoons. Those are the worst days for Bible teachers. Sunday, bloody Sunday! That's when their self-doubt runs rampant. The preacher gives his sermon, and almost immediately demons play with his head. Like a quarterback, he reviews his plays and evaluates his performance. Unlike a football player, however, it's hard to know whether he's lost the game or won it.

Teachers have no stats.

When the crowd doesn't cheer, he's certain he fumbled the sermon.

If you are a public speaker, what do you do on bloody Sunday afternoons?

The answer is simple. Not easy. But simple.

Go for a walk with God. Cease from "ministry" prayers for a little while. Talk to God about you. Tell Him you think people hate you. Tell Him no one is cheering you on. Tell Him you wish you didn't wish for them to cheer you on in the first place.

Preachers crave affirmation too, perhaps even more than the people in their congregation. If they do not get security from God, they'll look for it in people.

And if you're getting your security from people, you'll be a psychological basket-case, because compliments from people are as reliable as sunshine in Seattle.

Be careful not to mistake insecurity and inadequacy for humility! Humility has nothing to do with the insecure and inadequate! Just like arrogance has nothing to do with greatness!
- C. JoyBell C.

May 9

PRAISING YOUR RIVAL

I hate it when my rival is praised.

When I'm already insecure and my competitor is lauded, I turn sulky. I already know they're talented! You don't have to tell me about it! I feel small enough as it is.

You know the feeling. You look at the girl on the magazine cover and know you could never look like her, yet your friends praise her gorgeousness. You listen to a podcast and know you could never preach like him, yet he is the talk of the town. You hear a song and know you could never sing like that, but everyone is humming his tune.

When others praise the very people who accentuate your insecurities, they're twisting the knife in the back of your self-doubt. It hurts.

We all compare ourselves with others. How do we stop?

Consider what Jesus told our friend Peter. When Christ predicted this lovable fisherman's death, Peter looked at John and exclaimed, "But Lord, what about him?" Jesus said, "What is that to you? You follow me." (John 21:18-23)

Peter wanted to know his rival's fate, but it was none of his business. Jesus had given Peter a destiny. That was enough for him.

After all, it's not as though John's fate would change Peter's.

In the same way, God has given you a future and a hope. What more do you need? Comparing your destiny, accomplishments, or talents with others will not make you any greater.

You believe the calling God has given you, do you not? Why must you concern yourself with the callings of others? Don't worry about them. The more faith you have in the promise of success God has given you, the less insecure you'll feel when others excel. When you're wholly convinced God has a destiny for you, you'll not only endure your rivals being praised, but enjoy it! When you really believe God will do great deeds of daring through your life, you'll actually be able to join in on the praises and compliment your competitors!

Been sulking over the success of others lately? Knock it off. You follow Jesus, to destiny and to greatness.

Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.
- Author Unknown

May 8

LONELY IDEALS

To be a freethinker means you will be cast out like a leper. Groupthink is generally wrong, so to go against the grain is to gain unpopularity.

To be a man of lonely ideals means you will suffer persecution at the hands of the dogmatic. Expect it. Don't cry about it. Know it's going to happen.

One such belief that I nearly stand alone on is the unity of the Church. I'm not talking about pie in the sky, airy-fairy unity, but real, simple, bona-fide oneness.

After all, didn't Jesus pray that His followers would be united in Him as He is united with the Father? (John 17:21)

In our generation, however, we set up all kinds of fences to exclude those who do not meet our requirements. Many Christians believe if you do not hold a certain view of the trinity, if you do not believe in the "conscious, eternal torment" of non-Christians in hell, or if you do not believe in the "inerrancy" of the Bible, you are a heretic and to be excommunicated.

But you know what's amusing? None of these phrases are in Scripture to begin with! The words inerrancy, conscious torment, and trinity are words we've made up to describe our beliefs about the Bible, but these terms are not even in the Scriptures in the first place!

The question is, who, then, should be accepted into the Church? Anyone who follows Jesus. Period. Anyone who believes Christ is God's Son, died to take away the sins of the world, and rose again, is included. Simply put, anyone who believes in John 3:16 is in. Accepted. Included. And to be loved.

So long as we believe in Christ and Him crucified, can we not agree to disagree agreeably?

Perhaps you believe in this very unity, but nobody else agrees with you. Who cares. You stand up for what you believe in. You be the change you want to see in the Church. Even if a million people complicate and muddle unity, you fight for simple unity to the death…even if you must fight alone.

If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

May 7

LIVING WITH DEPRESSION

Do you wake up depressed…every day?

You have no idea why you open your eyes and depression covers you like the sheets over your body.

You look out the window and the sun is shining outside, but you are not happy. It doesn't matter whether Seattle rains or Costa Mesa sunshine radiates through your window. You feel terrible.

In high school, you did not know the meaning of depression. You were the archetypal happy camper. You enjoyed your friends, created beautiful memories, and could never understand those "depressed" people.

Then you reached your late teens. Since then you've been in mental agony every day. You think too much. You cannot turn your brain off even when you sleep. You have regular nightmares. Stumbling out of bed, you eat your breakfast with dread. By the time you begin your work, you doubt whether it means anything to anyone. Your loved ones are disappointed with you, expecting you to be someone you're not. You agree with them - you're not who you'd like to be either.

You'll never embody your own ideals.

If this description is alien to you, there is no use reading on. If, however, I described you to a tee, the next advice I will offer is going to be rather alarming, but it could save your life.

Depression is your friend.

One of your best ones.

Learn to live with him.

When he's knocks on the door, invite him in. Stop alienating him. Do not exclude him and make him feel unwanted. Expect him. Accept him. Do not quarrel with him.

There are certain things you must fight in life (cowardice, grumpiness, laziness, etc.) but depression is not one of them. He is your invisible pal. He's not easy to live with, but he is one of the most generous friends you'll ever have. He will refine you until you're the hero you long to be. (Ecclesiastes 7:3)

Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.
- Victor Hugo

May 6

RECHARGING THE BATTERY

One of the most formidable foes to one's goals is sickness.

If you are a young person who cannot bear wasting time, you know the unendurable feeling when your body says, "You may go this far, but you mustn't go further."

You have goals to meet! Dreams to pursue! Plans to fulfill! How dare your body hinder you so rudely!

Resting your body is challenging when your mind is restless. If you're a driven person, aware of all the work success requires, there is nothing more frustrating than illness. You are intent on chasing your dreams, but you wake up sick and tired. Your queasy stomach slows you down, and your aching head sends you to bed. Your heart is young, passionate and eager to sprint towards your ambitions, but your body feels as though it's been afflicted with sudden old age.

Do not grow depressed when you're sick. To be sick is to be human. Do what you can to meet your goals today, but then rest. If you don't let your battery recharge, you'll die, and you'll be of no use to anyone dead.

One day your body will be raised in glory, incorruptible, and strong (1 Corinthians 15:42-44). But that day is not today.

Today you must respect your weak vessel.

The sooner you get rest out of the way, the sooner you'll be able to bleed, sweat, and toil once more for your dreams!

Sometimes the most urgent thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest.
- Ashleigh Brilliant